Well, I have had a baby that won't nap for a couple weeks now. It is frustrating but I wouldn't change a day for anything. I have had a lot of time to just sit and assess how I want to do this mom/parent thing and what I am doing now.
It has been my plan from minute one of being pregnant to make P's food. I love to cook and do new things. If it sounds fun I say give it a shot (you know if it is a logical, safe, practical thing)
Then I started assessing our diapering situation. I HATE the stack of dirty diapers at the end of the day. Filling a plastic shopping bag in two days. It seems like a waste of money, money other people spent buying those diapers as gifts. I half heartedly looked at cloth diapers when I first got pregnant. What kept me from considering doing it is what other people would say. Seriously, I am 27 not 17 I really shouldn't care. I spent this weekend researching and reading far more about baby poop and pee than anyone needs to. I want to go for it. I am home with her and I will have disposables on hand if anyone is totally against it but I plan to get the all in one diapers where no one has to actually deal with poop. But here's the thing I change 99.9% of her diapers. All that matters is me and her.
So I am unintentionally a crunchy hippie mom I guess. I fully intended to give her pumped milk in a bottle here and there. I did not intend on her refusing bottles until she screamed her head off and drank an ounce or two. So I breast feed her. And I am not afraid to say I love it and the time we have. Would I like it if once in a while Paul could go get her at night. Sure I'd be lying if I said I love getting up multiple times every night. But that is being a mom. I wished away a lot of parts of my life trying to get here. I am honest in admitting that. There is no love lost between me and my first 14 years of school. I just didn't fit there. This life feels normal.
This is the life I was meant to have. The 4.5 years of being a wife and the rest of forever being a wife and mom. So, Paul and I get to make our life look the way we want to not how people expect it to look. Lets just hope I was only kidding when I said I'd be moving to college with P because she'll still be breastfeeding.